Monday, February 7th, 2005

8:50 am
Woke up tired, coughing, on a rainy day. Completly not ready for school yet, needing more sleep. The plan:
A nice cup of tea and a snack, then straight my ass to class goes. Light lunch in the interval (I've been eating like a total pig. Totally ate pizza and chips and dip and popcorn last night until we were all ready to burst). During my break, work my ass off on the outline for public speaking, go to public speaking. OOoh find someone with a printer to print the shit out first. Then go to the gym and have an amazing work out which I desperatly need.
Then finish homework and contemplate job opportunities. I need one. Badly. Yeah. Somehow sitting here and typing has slightly better woken me up. I've realized that I can wear my Docs today. I can wear then with a skirt...
I wanna do cute make up.
blorg, time to go.

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. ]

Sunday, January 30th, 2005

11:45 pm
Skiing was awesome. Totally exhausted/
Still cant understand why I think about him when I am completly exhausted and not in my complete right mind.
Anyway, so my cough is st ill around but its better. I guess it isnt smoking related which is good. It feels like an allergy thing. Still not smoking until at least Thursday though. After that I still want to try to keep it as at least a somewhat special thing. I dont want to say that I will only smoke Thursday through Saturday or anything, but I dont want to do it every day and I dont want to put a schedule on it.

Tomorrow is a power yoga day. I hope I have enough energy!
So lets see...wake up tomorrow, shower, class. Inbetween classes I think that I am going to scan that dumb ass reading, suffer through public speaking...that gets out at 3:15, which leaves me with two hours before yoga. I guess I will have some lunch and do homework. Should be back by seven. I guess I'll shower (again) and do more homework...because when I say I have two hours for homework, it means that I am going to spend at least half an hour on food, which is if I am alone, and then I will go online and check shit out and change and blah blah. OH LAUNDRY! I will do my laundry! 

I somehow cant help but feel like my social life is going to be suffering.

In other news, I love you! Oh you know who you are! And yes, I am evil. LIKE YOUR MOM!!!!!!!!



Current mood: tired as fuck

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. ]

Tuesday, January 25th, 2005

7:57 pm - Ahh broke as fuck but feeling good
Yeah so...I have absolutly no job. Can some one help me out with a job in the city?

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. ]

Saturday, January 22nd, 2005

11:15 pm
Well where do I start?
Today I got up, bought books, went down to haight to drop off job apps (which doesnt look too good btw), starting drinking heavily at around 4pm, startin smoking heavily at like maybe five or so...I really have to sense of time after that. I know that I got sick and threw up and at around 9:30 I was better. Now I am just...bumming. Probbaly going to go to bed or something, even though I probably have the strength to go out.
now I am listening to John Lennon and Tupac and Hole and its making things more okay.
So this is kinda funny...I was on my bed fucking passing the fuck out with the room spinning and Ben (from school) said that I had sexy hips, and I wanted to say WHAT THE FUCK but I couldnt because I was too fucked up. Now i feel wierd calling to see what they are doing because I was so shitfaced but life is good yes yes yes.

Oh yeah, that also reminds me...I REALLY wanted to fuck eric, and if he didnt have someplace to go and if I was a little less drunk it would have happend. Do you know what that is called? That is called being drunk, horny, and really really NOT giving a fuck for like a few minutes of my existance. Scary.
Anyway, I did pretty good staying up until 11. I should just crash....

In summery.
I'm lonley and tired in my room by myself. Not really depressed or upset of anything. Just...yeah.

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. We are the chick, the world is our egg. ]

11:08 pm
Its the heart you had when it died...

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. ]

Sunday, January 9th, 2005

12:19 pm
I know this feeling.


This is how I felt when Nathan died.

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. We are the chick, the world is our egg. ]

Saturday, January 8th, 2005

5:45 pm
mwahah.
TAMAR
i just found my bondage gear.
lol

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. We are the chick, the world is our egg. ]

Thursday, January 6th, 2005

1:16 pm - a Rant, because I am Pissed
I'm cold
All I wanted to do was wake up, take a shower, straighten my hair. Is that too much to ask for? Is it? Really? Honestly? I didnt fuckin think so. \
But alas, I had to get up with a massive headache to take lucky for a walk because the house has to be fuckin sprayed for ants. And now I cant take a shower for another hour because you have to wait and my head still fucking hurts and I'm really cold and THEN!
THEN!
Of all the fuckin things in the world, I had to IM hans instead of Jo, which had to be Fruedian slip of sorts, which means I had to talk to him, and listen to his woeful problems of not having friends anymore, which pisses me the FUCK off because for someone who bitches and moans so fuckin much about being a strong person and shit he is drunk and miserable and dependant on others a little too much for internal/extrernal consistency.
AND THEN
the fucker tells me that he loves me, but its more like a Hans: love you ( you know what I mean)
Which makes me want to KILL him. Just fucking KILL him. I want to take a fucking baseball bat and swing it, making full on contact with the front of his face.
So now I have to sit here on my bed cold, angry, with a fucking headache, cigarette-less and unable to do a fucking thing because I cant take a shower.
Oh and on top of evertthing my dad tells me that I cant do everything that I want to do which fucking pisses me off because its such an asshole thing to say and it almost made me sad.
AND FOR THE MOTEHR FUCKING RECORD YOU LOSER BASTARDS
I am making this entry public. Because if he EVER somehow finds my livejournal, I want him to read this and know that I want to kill him and make him suffer while I'm at it too.

and I am STILL Fucking cold and I have a headache and I am fucking getting up and not brushing my hair andfucking ripping of f heads today
Hello Courtney.
Did you miss me?
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

The bitch is back.



Current mood: angry

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. ]

Wednesday, December 29th, 2004

11:22 pm

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. ]

Friday, December 24th, 2004

2:13 pm - Okay, so it isnt THAT funny
Aries horoscope for January:

"You thought you were moving on, but now it looks like you;re being offered a fresh start in the same place on the 15th. This isnt easy for you- when you said you were through, you meant it. Dont be stubborn. Instead, listen to an old friend or trusted colleague who is trying to convince you to stay."

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. ]

Tuesday, December 21st, 2004

4:07 pm
Ahhh!!!!
Religion and Culture in Late Antiquity = B+ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. ]

Friday, December 17th, 2004

6:39 pm
So Motley Crue got back together eh? And already fucked up

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. ]

Tuesday, December 14th, 2004

8:44 am
Well...three hours and fifteen minutes until my final, and so help me God, I WILL do good on it.
All I need to do is find someone who will tell me about Algeria...

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. ]

Wednesday, December 8th, 2004

8:34 pm
Post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want, just so long as it happened.
Then post this to your journal.
See what people remember about you.

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. We are the chick, the world is our egg. ]

Tuesday, December 7th, 2004

7:37 pm
Happy Hanukah BITCH!

[ If it cannot break out of its shell, a chick will die without being born. We are the chick, the world is our egg. ]

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